touching pain...Day 37

The pervasive experience I have seen this week in relationships is that people are hurting.

Then, today I was in a mentoring class and we were discussing grief.  At the table I was sitting at we did a role play where one person played the part of a person experiencing loss on multiple levels and the rest of us made efforts to care for that person. 

Now it was only a role play, so I was surprised by the level of emotion that kicked in.  Playing the role of the mentor/encourager I felt this heavy weight of responsibility to touch the wounded one's pain with great care and respect and in a way that was meaningful to them.  I felt completely inadequate.  Those are the kinds of moments when I silently pray that the actions I take and the words I utter will be directed by God so that I cause no further wounding. I am not a healer.  God is.  I can only be a companion on a healing journey 

I thought about this again later in the day as I reflected on specific situations where people I know are aching terribly right now...anxiety and despair...the loss of a baby...the loss of a relationship.

In my personal experiences of terrible loss I don't think anyone could convince me that "good" would come from it, and furthermore, I didn't really think the "good" could possibly be worth the pain I was suffering. When people told me it would all "work out for the good"...I wanted to believe them, but I honestly thought they just didn't get it! 

Then a person came alongside me and sat with me in silence.  I remember that powerful silence...sitting there waiting for them to tell me some pat answer of how all things work for the good and that I was going to be okay.  They said nothing...then more nothing! I  finally said, "I don't know how to hope anymore!"  They said, "I know, that is why I am hoping for you...just until you have the strength to hope again."

I don't know why, but those words helped me hold on. 

The snapshot of that time in my life would suggest to the average spectator that nothing good could possibly come out of what happened....but it did.  It is so hard to see the big picture during grieving time...the pain was invading my vision and it was too hard to see through it. 

But God (and I am noticing more and more that when I write of life experiences there is always a "but God" in them) has made promises and he cannot break his promises. This teaches me that sometimes the most meaningful thing I can do is stay in the presence of someone's pain with them while they experience the sometimes painstakingly slow process of  the promised"beauty for ashes" for themselves.

 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   to proclaim freedom for the captives
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
   and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
   instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor.
Isaiah 61:1-3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAYYx_NVa9s&feature=related