Be my umbrella...Day 11



He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
   will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress,
   my God, in whom I trust."
psalm 91:1-2

Last night I took my son to the Picasso exhibit at the Seattle Art Museum.  Having broken his collar bone the day before and being in considerable pain I was very wary about him even going, but it was very important to him so we went.  With a brace holding his arm and collar bone as stable as possible and a good dose of pain medication we headed to the museum.  Even though we had a reserved time to attend, it was very crowded. I wanted to do my best to protect Brian from people bumping into him and tried to navigate clear paths  and shield him from people walking into him.  I sort of felt like Brian’s umbrella.

I am experiencing the weight of the past few weeks and my increasing responsibilities taking a toll on me. Most everyday I have a quiet time with God in the same place and the same time each day…a time of stillness and listening,  reading His word, and prayer. It is an "ALWAYS"…an essential in my life.

But today,  as I was racing around, I found myself  holding my devotional in one hand while brushing my teeth with the other in order to get out the door in time for bible study! It wasn’t that I got up late….it is just that a lot of unplanned things have sprouted up recently and I am out of sync. In addition to that, I am not  a very efficient person and my mind it always leap frogging from one thought to some other tangential thought…even on a good day!

 In the past few weeks  a sense of well-being and peace has seemed  more and more elusive.  Instead, worry and trying to figure out how I am going to make everything work has filled my thoughts.

Later this afternoon, As I stepped outside to get in the car to pick up Brian from an after school meeting, the rain was coming down hard and I thought again about umbrellas. …but this time, not in relation to protecting someone else, but in relation to experiencing God covering me. I felt so overwhelmed and in that state of weakness I cried outloud…”God, I need you to be my umbrella”.  After a few minutes of driving and crying and just feeling like I needed someone to take care of me, it occurred to me that I often hear myself saying…"I need God to be "this" for me," or "I need God to be "that" for me."  But the truth is God is God.  He is everything I need.  God is already my umbrella.  

Lesson 1: The feeling of coming undone is just an indicator that I have wandered out from under my umbrella into the land of worry and trying to control things on my own.  STAY UNDER THE UMBRELLA!

Lesson 2: Even when an umbrella is up and keeping a person protected from the rain…it doesn’t stop the rain from falling down. EVEN THOUGH GOD IS MY UMBRELLA, SOMETIMES THE STORM RAGES ON.

So while there is a mountain of laundry waiting to be done on the couch, logistics to figure out about the coming days, a dinner to make, and a support group to lead tonight… all the rain coming down…I am retreating for a few minutes to get myself back under God’s umbrella in my heart, mind, and spirit. Then I will be able to carry on in with a peaceful spirit and hopeful anticipation.